literature

Dean WinchesterXReader-The Monster I Fear (Part 3)

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“You’re with child Y/n.” Cas’ words echoed through your mind trying to process what he actually just said. You were pregnant, with Dean’s child. You felt your legs start to give way from shock but Cas caught you in his arms pulling you back up. You couldn’t even speak a word no longer a sentence. You gripped onto Cas’ trench coat for dear life not wanting to fall.  Cas leant you against the car lifting your face with his hand under your chin, his blue eyes looking down at you with worry. Cas placed his hand on your chest feeling the unsteady breaths that were escaping from your throat.
“Y/n you need to calm down-”
“How can I calm down Cas!? I just found out I’m pregnant!” You screamed into his face pushing him away. You covered your face with your hands sobbing uncontrollably. You were not ready for a baby certainly with the life you led. Hunting was not the life you wanted when having a kid, you didn’t even have kids in the picture as this point in your life.  
“What am I even going to tell Dean?! He’s going to kill me!” You blubbered throwing your hands down to your sides. Cas looked taken back by how angry you had gotten. You were not the sort of person who would have an outburst; you remained quite grounded for most of the time.
“What am I going to do Cas? Tell me please what should I do?” You cried wiping your tears away. Cas hesitated to speak at first wanting to find the right words.
“Do what you think feels right Y/n.”
“Wow great advice Cas.” You snapped climbing into the driver’s seat of the car. The car’s engine was still on purring with life. You rested your head against the seat taking deep breaths thinking of what to do. You didn’t want to get rid of the baby, that wasn’t an option so you were having this baby no matter what. But the hunting life, that was the big crack down your perfect picture. It wasn’t meant to be there.
“We should get back to the motel where Sam and Dean are waiting. They were most troubled when they asked me to find you.” Cas spoke beside your suddenly in the passenger seat.
“Cas stop doing that.” You complained shutting the car door. You sat in silence, tracing your fingers along the steering wheel as you felt Cas’ gaze on you.
“I can’t get rid of it Cas I just can’t. But I can’t carry on with the hunter life, especially now that Dean, Sam and I are so close to getting Metatron.” You let out a restless breath throwing your head back in the seat. You turned to Cas seeing him staring out the windshield eyes slightly squinted. You rolled your eyes knowing that any advice that would come out of the angel’s mouth would be useless.
“Dean once told me that he sees himself settling down with you and giving you the life you deserve.” Your mouth fell agape and your breath got caught in your throat.
“H-he did?”
“Yes he loves you very much Y/n. He wished to settle down with you but… problems keep occurring stopping him from doing so.” You looked out the window beside you fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. The Dean Winchester wanted to leave the hunting life behind for you. Moments ago you thought that Dean would kill you for getting pregnant but now you knew he would be ecstatic. But now your life would be in more danger than ever, carrying a Winchester baby was riskier than anything.
“C-Cas you can go. I’m going to drive back and talk to Dean.”
“But-”
“Don’t worry I’ll be fine. You have more pressing matters at the moment.” Cas nodded in agreement grabbing your hand suddenly.
“If you ever need me do not hesitate to call me.”
“What’s your number again?” You joked but Cas furrowed him brow.
“I do not have a number. You just have to pray…”
“I know Cas it was a joke.” You laughed but he still sat in silence. “Just go Cas I’ll be fine.”
Then Cas disappeared leaving you alone in the comfort of the Impala trying to jumble some sort of plan of what you were going to do. Every time you reminded yourself that you were going to be a mother in less than nine months made a unusual feeling linger in your chest. Like it was some sort of pressure that would start to slowly build. You took a deep calming breath feeling relaxed by the soothing sound of the engine that sounded so familiar.

You sat in the Impala thinking of all the things that you could say and do. But you knew there was only one way that you could make your child safe.
You gripped the starring wheel and started your drive back to the motel which was only a couple of minutes away. But it felt like hours, replaying in your head what you were going to do and all the different scenarios that could play out. But you knew deep down your choice was the best, you just had to keep reminding yourself. Just as you pulled into the motel parking lot the motel door to your room flung open revealing Sam and Dean. Sam pushed Dean back into the room shouting something you couldn’t work out from inside the car. You parked in front of the room and before you could even turn off the engine the car door was opened and you pulled into a hug.
“Jesus Y/n are you ok!? You scared the crap out of us! We didn’t know where you were or if you were safe! Are you ok!? How’s your eye!? Does it hurt-”
“Sam stop! I’m fine Cas found me just calm down please!” Sam let you go and gave you his famous puppy dog eyes.
“Sorry I just- I was worried about you. After last night I thought you wouldn’t come back- well Dean thought that-”
“Sam just stop for five seconds please!? Can you at least let me out of the car?” You asked grabbing the keys and slamming your hands on the steering wheel. Sam stood up and moved behind the door giving you enough room to get out of the confiding space of the Impala. You closed the door behind you and looked up at Sam.
“Come here.” You pulled him into another hug, wrapping your arms around his back.
“I’m sorry for driving off I just panicked but I’m I’m fine.” You reassured Sam rubbing his back. His grip was much softer on you then before. You felt a kiss on the top of your head and a gentle squeeze before he pulled away.
“But Sam I need to tell you something important… And I need you to do something for me too…”

You stepped inside the motel room seeing Dean sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet tapping the carpeted floor frantically. You searched the room seeing the First Blade nowhere to be seen. Dean must have put it somewhere out of eyesight. Hopefully a hundred feet underground you thought. You walked into the room slowly placing the Impala keys on the table beside the door. His red puffy eyes met yours in a split second but he remained seated like he was asking for you permission to stand. You approached him and took his face in your hands. He leant into the touch and started to cry again bowing his head so you couldn’t see him properly. You knelt down still grasping his face. His eyes were closed but tears were still falling. You had never seen him look so defeated and helpless.
“I’m so sorry Y/n.” He sobbed. Seeing him like that broke your heat.
“Hey Dean look at me it’s ok.” You smiled rubbing your thumbs across the tear tracks trying to erase them.
“But it’s not, I hurt you. I will never forgive myself.” You wrapped your arms around his neck burying your head in his chest. You felt his arms settle on your back as he tried to control his breathing.
“I forgive you and I love you.” You spoke looking up at him. He pulled you into his chest encasing you in his arms.
“I never meant to hurt you. It’s- it’s just the mark is making me into someone I don’t want to be and the stress of everything going on. It’s too much I can’t do this.” You leant out of his neck to be face to face with him.
“Yes you can. And when you end Metatron and get rid of the Mark we can settle down and live that apple pie life we both want.” Dean stared at you in shock then confusion. Then it hit him.
“Cas! I’m gonna kick his angel ass!” He snapped then laughed in embarrassment. His eyes met yours again as he leant in slowly. His lips barely grazed yours before you pulled him closer not wanting him to let you go. Your lips mothed in perfect sync like two puzzle pieces being connected. The need for breath final became too much causing you to lean away slightly lips just touching. Your eyes were closed as you enjoyed a sense of aura that Dean casted off him.
But you couldn’t let yourself get use to it.
You leant further away letting your eyes take in his features. He looked happy as his eyes stared back at yours.
“Dean… There’s something I need to tell you…” He must have seen the worry in your face as he sat up straighter pulling you up to sit beside him on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” He asked grasping your hands and resting them on his lap.
“Dean I… I uh-” You were cut short by a figure at the door. It was Sam who scanned both of your faces and realising that you hadn’t told him.
Not that you were pregnant but the fact you were leaving until Metatron was out of the picture, the Mark of Cain was gone and Dean and Sam finally stopped hunting. You were finding it a bit difficult to put it into words. If Sam had walked in you knew the taxi you told him to call was here.
“It’s uh… It’s here Y/n” Sam stammered too scared to look his brother in the eye. You turned to look at Dean noticing the confusion in his eyes as he looked at both you and Sam.
“What’s here? What’s going on Y/n?” He asked grabbing your hands tighter. You looked down at you entwined hands.
“I’m um… I’m leaving for a little while. Well, until everything’s sorted out.” You whispered too scared to look at Dean. He let go off your hands slowly clenching his own into fists.
“You’re leaving me?” He questioned slowly. You shook your head watching as his knuckles turned white. You saw Sam take a couple of steps into the room ready to get you out if Dean snaps again. You raised your hand stopping him in your tracks. You finally looked Dean just seeing the hurt in his eyes.
“I’m not leaving you. I just need to escape this now. When you’re finished with what you have to do and you come and get me you’ll understand why I need to go.”
“Please don’t go please. If it was because of last night I’m so sorry just don’t go I need you PLEASE!” Dean began to shout and cry again. You latched your hands onto his face pulling him closer to you.
“Dean calm down it’s ok. It wasn’t because of last night I promise. When this is all done you’ll realise why and you’ll be so happy trust me.” You heard a car honk outside making you look at Sam. He nodded his head and looked at Dean.
“She has to go Dean. It’s for the best.” Sam murmured crossing his arms nervously. Something suddenly snapped on Dean as he stood up quickly and approached Sam hands in fists.
“IT’S FOR THE BEST?! HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FO HER!?” Dean screamed at his brother. You pulled him back but Dean just collapsed to his knees pulling you with him. You held him in your arms as he wept.
“I love you.” You heard him whisper. You lifted his head staring at his watery eyes.
“I love you too.” You kissed his lips quickly not wanting to change your mind and end up staying endangering the little life you were carrying. You hated yourself for it but your baby was your main priority. Even above you and Dean.
“Dean I have to go I’m sorry.” You whimpered kissing him on the forehead and standing up. You grabbed your duffle bag and backpack at the bottom of the bed not daring to look at Dean who remained kneeling on the motels floor. You put your backpack loosely on one shoulder while you held your duffle bag in your right hand. You stood in front of Sam who seemed to be holding back tears.
“Take care of him for me.” You pleaded. Sam nodded his head grabbing your shoulder gently reassuring you.
“Take care of my niece or nephew ok?” He whispered as he hugged you. You nodded giving a fake smile. Sam grabbed your hand and placed a few $50 notes in your palm.
“I have money Sam.”
“Well now you have more.”
He closed your palm hearing the notes scrunch in your hand. You finally looked back at Dean whose head was hung as he silently putting himself together. You looked at the table and saw the Impala keys shining slightly by the sun beaming in from the gap in the curtain. You grazed your hands across them before leaving the motel. You didn’t look back because looking back meant walking back. The taxi driver, who looked in his mid-forties with his descending hair line and noticeable beer belly, stepped out of the taxi and grabbed your duffle bag. Your hand gripped the backpack strap on your shoulder giving him a friendly shake of your head sending him the message that this bag was to remain with you. He placed your duffle bag in the trunk while you got in the backseat closest to the motel.  You put the backpack in your lap, opening it and putting the money in the small pocket with the rest of the money you had which was only a couple of $10 notes and one £20 note You needed to get to Wichita Kansas. You luckily had a hunter cousin who lived there who you knew would take you in in a heartbeat. It wasn’t that far from the Bunker in Lebanon, just over a three hours’ drive if that. But you didn’t even tell Sam where you where because you knew he would have been guilt tripped by Dean.
From the few amount of seconds for the driver to get from the trunk to the driver’s seat you thought. Was what you’re doing fair? Was it only making things worse for Dean? Was it going to affect the relationship between Sam and Dean even more? Was Sam going to tell Dean why you were leaving? Was he going to be mad? Upset? The slam of the driver’s seat door pulled you from your thoughts.  You looked through the window and saw Sam and Dean standing in the doorframe. Sam’s arm was around Dean’s shoulders as they watched you in the taxi. You looked at Dean who surprisingly smiled at you even though tears were still tumbling down his already tear stained cheeks. He turned slightly to Sam and you saw him let out a choke as his tears took him completely over. Your tears descended silently as looked down into your lap hugging your backpack to your chest.
“Where to?” A gravelly voice spoke in the front of the taxi.
“Just get me to Wichita.”
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Ponyfan1005's avatar
Are there going to be more?